Finding the balance

I think there's a certain balance that guys in the community need to reach to get good at game. A lot of times I'll game with guys who clearly have the intention of getting laid and even been in a couple sets where a girl has asked something to the effect of: "does your buddy try to fuck everything in a skirt." I think this may be the drawback to guys feeling like they have to do 12 sets a night or open the whole room. Now there is of course nothing wrong with wanting to get laid (don't we all), or wanting to get your 12 sets a night in. I just think girls can sense when you're that guy and it can work to your detriment at times.

On the other hand, there have been nights where I did not really get into state (a confident, alpha one at least) but got into a conversational mood and I've been told by my buddy John that I'm acting like a guy that's just out to have fun, not the guy that's out to get laid. And he's been right, those have been times where I didn't really build attraction.

But on the nights that I've been on have been somewhere in the middle of those two extremes. It has been when I'm opening sets because I feel like it and with no worry about the outcome of the situation. This includes the few times when I've gone direct. I usually just come off as a fun, confident guy out to have fun and if I meet hot girls along the way, even better. Those are the nights when girls are opening me and I have to make almost no effort to get into set. Girls will even tell me that I come off very confident and self-assured even though I'm not even approaching that Matador level of alpha male energy, but I think that women find that fun, confident attitude appealing. I've noticed the same thing about Mystery and Matador in set the times I've seen them. They work the room but it seems to happen because that's who they are rather than because they're out to get laid (even though we know they are).

It's something to think about for me as I try to consistently find that state and reaching that balance is key to getting to where we all want to be.